Top 10 Reasons Why Kim Jong-un Won't Be Interviewed By David Letterman In New York City

Top 10 Reasons Why Kim Jong-un Won't Be Interviewed By David Letterman In New York City


#10.  Is worried he'll be forced to apologize if he throws a fit being served peanuts in a bag on a Korean Airlines flight to America


#9.  He's already seen most of the in-flight movies on his home computer screen


#8. Deathly afraid of subliminal swearing that might come through on his Sony headphones while in flight


#7. Doesn't know where to go for Korean food in Times Square

#6.  Very worried that New York City cab drivers won't accept North Korean currency

#5.  He'll have to wait until next year to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Santa Claus Parade


#4.  Is worried that he'll be asked to perform the Gangnam Style dance by stupid New York City tourists mistaking him for South Korean pop star Psy


#3. Is very worried that pigeons in Central Park might mistake him for a statue

#2.  Is deathly afraid that he might be assassinated by the CIA in the middle of a Stupid Pet Tricks routine on the Letterman Show


and the #1 reason why Kim Jong-un won't be interviewed by David Letterman is


#1.   He's already been asked by Ellen DeGeneres





-A Top 10 List For
 David Letterman
 written by Christopher
 Sunday December 21st
  2014.


Sent from my iPhone

The Post-Modern Christmas

The Post-Modern Christmas


A ray of hope no longer flickers in the breeze
Lives are trampled and flattened in a whirlwind of despair
Where a tiny star once lit up way up high
A bullhorn tells people to disperse in the street
All across the land dawns an everlasting night
This comes to pass when a child is forgotten.


Billions of silent wishes drown in the Seven Seas
The guns of change make deserts of the trees
And the walls of doubt soar above the clouds
This comes to pass when a child is forgotten.


That rosy hue is replaced by stains of blood
You got the feel the ground collapses under your feet
With spells of darkness everyone feels forlorn
This comes to pass when a child is forgotten.


And all of this happens because the world has turned its back
on this one child; Black-white-yellow, no one cares...
They'll shoot you when you've got your hands in the air
Laughter drowns submerged in a valley of tears
Love to hate, peace to war and everyone becomes everyone's enemy
And misery and suffering are the only words left in the dictionary.



It's all a reality now
It is the one truth eternal for our time
All across the land dawns an everlasting night
This comes to pass when a child is forgotten.



-A poetic response to the Christmas song When A Child Is Born
-describing the state of the world at Christmas 2014.


-written by Christopher
Sunday December 14th
2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Krampus: The Evil Sidekick of Saint Nicolas

Krampus: The Evil Sidekick of Saint Nicolas



Rod Serling (host of the Twilight Zone):

Gather around kiddies on this night of Saint Nicolas Day
try to avoid the evil fairies or as they say in Wales, the wicked fay
there is a place beyond time and space
that is known to all the human race
a realm of the imagination
you can reach with contemplation
where dawn and dusk meet
and light and dark greet
a place just beyond reach
like the tree with forbidden peach
a place where one's home ET cannot phone
for this is the realm of the Twilight Zone.


In the land of the Dutch
of which we've heard so much
is the figure of Sinterklauss
jovial bloke like your dog with paws
and his wicked sidekick is Black Pete
a guy whose appearance is not neat
he might put you in a sack
and carry you on his back
to a place in far-off Spain
where on the plain it does so rain
or he might drop in your stocking a lump of coal
or place in your favourite sock a gaping hole.


But in the lands of Germanic alpine
over which the Hapsburgs ruled so fine
that kindly Eastern rite bishop Saint Nick
had a much darker sidekick
his name was Krampus
born from Hell's dark arts campus
A beast-like creature
and that was his best feature
He was a demon
from dark cauldrons steamin'
The Horned God of the Witches
those nocturnal hag bitches.


In appearance he is hairy
unlike a beautiful fairy
He has the horns and cloven hooves of a goat
and a long lolling tongue that can reach down your throat
so if you want to be French kissed by  frog prince turned horned toad
just ask to encounter Krampus as you walk down a dark road.


He carries ruten- bundles of birch
and avoiding the Cross on the Church
he uses these to swat bad children with
those on the dark side like the Sith
Krampus carries a washtub and sack on his back
to drown bad children and carry them to Hell's torturous rack.



Sometimes Krampus appears with one human foot and one cloven hoof
so at medical check-ups he sends the doc through the roof.



But now to tonight's tale
that shall make your hearts fail
it was on the late night of December 5th
a night much darker than the Sith
and the early morn of December 6
that heralds the start of the day that's Saint Nick's
in the year of Our Lord 1944
although to the Fuhrer Jesus was a bore
And Der Fuhrer was asleep in his room in Berlin
his Reich soon to fall like tonight's bottle of gin
And the Fuhrer dreamed of being a child again in his Austrian birthplace
in the days before he set out to create a Master race
He saw Saint Nicolas approaching and gave him a grin
but the Saint saw Adolf's future heart blackened by sin
and passed him by without even pinching his chin
Then Krampus approached and saw the boy's hands steeped in blood
impossible to wash off like the stickiest mud
and Krampus grabbed the lad and threw him in the sack
The boy then awakened on a demon's dark rack.


The Fuhrer's cries and screams then literally shook the room
As Germany's leader saw his future doom.



Some might remember
that 5th of December
in the year of Our Lord 1947
2 years past the time Der Fuhrer failed to make Heaven
for on that night Der Fuhrer's bunker was destroyed
reminding us to be in Krampus'  hands is a fate to avoid.



-A poem written by Christopher
 Saturday December 6th 2014
 The Night of Saint Nicolas' Day





Sent from my iPhone

December At The North Pole: A Poem

December At The North Pole:  A Poem


Well it's early December
a time to remember
it will soon be Christmas Eve
thought the little elf called Steve
he was putting the finishing touches on Santa's toys
for all the good little girls and boys
It was kind of cold living at the North Pole
you put on the fire heaps of coal
to help keep you warm
during an Arctic storm
his work day was now done
but so sadly was the sun
When he headed home, it was pitch dark
so he walked to the lot where reindeer park
but he couldn't find his keys
and it was starting to freeze
then Rudolph did sneeze
and set everything aglow
And the light showed the keys in the fallen snow
so he picked up his keys
and ate his last piece of cheese
then he put the keys in the reindeer's horn
and off the creature sprang like a comet reborn
So off went Comet and Dancer and Vixen
when it came to rent-a-deer he had the pick of the fixin'
for this is what they do when it's not Christmas Eve
they fly home tired elves just like old Steve.


-A Christmas poem for children
written by Christopher
Monday December 1st
2014.

Haiku About The Rise and Fall of Bill Cosby

Haiku About The Rise and Fall of Bill Cosby


Clowns make some afraid
with Bill Cosby unmasked
we now know reason