Not Necessarily The Real News (But Could Be) Episode 001

In the news today, Donald Trump's personal wig and hair piece maker Figaro Figaretti who also serves as a spokesman for the controversial billionaire/reality TV show host announced that Charlie Sheen has agreed to test a psychic ability enhancing drug that will psychically transport Mr. Sheen back in time to August 4th 1961 and then psychically bilocate Mr. Sheen to two different places- Kenya and Hawaii- to see where exactly President Barack Obama was born.
The Tea Party anxiously awaits the results of Mr. Sheen's thought experiment.