Doc Henry's Remedy: Drinking Shooters In A Bar

Doc Henry's Remedy: Drinking Shooters In A Bar
A short story written by Dracul Van Helsing
Thursday, July 22nd 2010

"I want to try a totally new and different shooter," Donald said as he put his shooter glass down on the bar.

He had already had 5 Orgasms and 6 Blow Jobs.

"Me too," said Troy who had had numerous samples of Sex On The Beach.

"Me three, " giggled Veronica who had had 3 Abortions.

"Why do most shooter drinks have names with sexual innuendo?" asked Timothy who had been slowly sipping the cocktail called Tequila Sunrise.

"For the same reason they always have beautiful and incredibly sexy and willing women in beer commercials," Donald said, "sex sells."

"You want to try a totally new and different shooter?" Sam the bartender asked.

"Yep," Donald spoke for all.

"How about a glass of Doc Henry's Remedy?" Sam asked.

"What's Doc Henry's Remedy?" Donald queried.

"A shooter I came across the ingredients for over in Britain," Sam said, "I'm sure you've never had anything quite like it."

"I'm in," said Donald and the other three assented.

The bartender went over to a cabinet he hadn't been to all evening and started pouring and mixing various drinks.

"Hey, we can't see what you're doing," Donald cried out, "what are you mixing?".

"Doc Henry's Remedy is a secret recipe," Sam the bartender called back.

He brought over the shooter glasses.

"Wow, looks like the colours of the rainbow," Veronica stared at her glass.

"Cheers," Donald raised his glass in toast.

The other three said, "Cheers."

They drank.

When they had finished their glasses, nobody said anything for a while.

Then Troy spoke, "You know Donald, I don't think much of your 5 o' clock shadow."

"What 5 o' clock shadow?" Donald said, "I'm perfectly clean shaven."

"Are not," Veronica smiled, "you're growing a beard."

"So are you, bitch," Donald grabbed Veronica's hair and slammed her face down hard on the bar.

"Asshole," Troy broke a beer bottle and cut Donald's mouth with it.

"Son of a bitch," Donald picked up an extremely sharp steak knife and shoved it straight through Troy's neck killing him instantly.

"Let me give you a real blow job," Veronica said to Donald.

"All right," Donald pulled his pants down along with his briefs and stood there getting erect.

Veronica grabbed the steak knife and cut off Donald's erect phallus.

"Whore," Donald screamed and ran over to the dart board, pulled out some darts and then came back and gouged out both Veronica's eyes.

"Did I mention I got my firearms permit today?" Timothy pulled a gun out of his coat pocket and shot both Donald and Veronica dead.

Timothy then looked at his reflection in the mirror, "My God, I've got a beard. Why did Troy ask Donald about his 5 o' clock shadow when mine is a lot worse."

Timothy then looked at the bodies of his 3 dead friends on the floor.

"My God," Timothy cried, "you've all got beards"

He then noticed the blood and gore,

"Oh God," Timothy cried, "what have I done? What have we all done?".

"You better run and hide before the police get here," Sam the bartender suggested.

Timothy ran out into the back alley.

"Better run and hide," Sam the bartender laughed, "wonder how hide should be spelled?".

Sam put back the bottles into his secret cabinet.

Waiting for the time some unwary strangers once again came into his quiet out of the way bar and asked for shooters.

Doc Henry's Remedy.

A very old remedy.

Went back roughly 125 years to the original Doc Henry- a London physician named Dr. Henry Jekyll.