The World Has Indeed Changed On 12-12-12

Wedding on the beach today

here at English Bay

photographer takes picture

of the happy couple

with waves in the background.

The couple approaches-

the groom-

the one with the flower

in his lapel-

is a dead ringer

for Santa Claus-

long white hair-

long white beard-

if he was in a red and white suit

and was driven by reindeer

in a sleigh-

there would be no question about it-

the man is Santa Claus!

Then I look at the bride-

also wearing a pant suit-

but carrying the floral bouquet-

is likewise a guy!

The world has changed in 2012

on 12-12-12

... it turns out...

... that Santa Claus is gay-

and he's chosen

the pre-Christmas Advent season of 2012

to come out of the closet.

The presumably now divorced Mrs. Claus

(the woman at the North Pole)

will no doubt be giving interviews

to Barbara Walters 

or Oprah

or Ellen

telling about how her world

was turned upside down

(literally for she will now be moving

to the South Pole)

and how she had no idea 

that her husband was actually gay-

although she did notice he spent 

a lot of time in the closet

with his male elves

and a whole bunch of toys.

Now that he was out of the closet,

she would begin her life anew.

Meanwhile back on the beach,

the out-of-the-closet Santa

takes a call on his mobile phone

from a prankster radio talk show

host in Sydney, Australia

and then the gay Santa

tells the Sydney-based radio talk show host

where he can stick his Christmas tree

(thus for future Christmases-

it will be figures of Australian radio

announcers and not little angels

that will sit atop

the Christmas tree).

Meanwhile on another part of the beach,

a guy dressed as a giant owl

gets his photo taken 

on a log.

He then removes his giant owl head

and starts talking to the photographer,

no doubt saying,

"I think we may have missed 

San Francisco's Bohemian Grove

by a few thousand miles.

Boy, are George W. Bush

and Henry Kissinger

ever going to be pissed."

Well, next year, 

maybe Dubya and Henry Kissinger

will be here

tying the knot at this time.

And so finally

before the curtain falls on the beach

at English Bay,

Sidney Seagull steps on to the sand,

addresses the audience

and quotes a line from an old

Jimmy Buffett song,

"If we couldn't laugh, 

we would all go insane."

-written by Christopher

 circa 1:15 PM Wednesday afternoon

 December 12th 2012.