Haiku About The Assassination of Boris Nemtsov In Moscow

Haiku About The Assassination of Boris Nemtsov In Moscow


Boris Nemtsov slain
cold chill falls over Moscow
soon to freeze the blood

Haiku About Leonard Nimoy R.I.P.

Haiku About Leonard Nimoy  R.I.P.


Captain Kirk would say
Spock's finally going home
Beam him up, O Lord.

Haiku About The Loch Ness Monster

Haiku About The Loch Ness Monster

On Scottish waters
bagpipes play Nessie lifts head
seeking Scotch whisky

Haiku About The Rainbow

Haiku About The Rainbow


Rainbow gleams in sky
seems real but is elusive
like its pot of gold

Haiku About Oliver Twist

Haiku About Oliver Twist


The boy wanted more
met Fagin and Dodger then
finally got home

Red Along The Snow: A Haiku

Red Along The Snow:  A Haiku


Red along the snow
drops of blood against crisp white
snowman's broken heart

Special Delivery For Valentine's Day

Special Delivery For Valentine's Day



Diego Vargas was a special courier.

He didn't usually work on Saturdays but seeing as how today, this particular Saturday, was February 14th Valentine's Day this year, he was working.


Diego Vargas didn't really mind.


He was being paid time and a half by his employers for working today.


He whistled as he drove his delivery van through the busy streets of New York City.


Diego Vargas checked the address on the package with the address of the restaurant.


This was the place all right.


Diego Vargas entered the restaurant with the package.


"Special Valentine's Day delivery for Mr. Antonio Balducci," Vargas said to the maitre' d.

"That would be the restaurant manager," the maitre' d smiled, "I'll take you to his office on the second floor."



The maitre'd knocked on the restaurant manager's door.


"Special Valentine's Day delivery for you, Mr. Balducci... from," the maitre' d looked at the name on the card that Diego Vargas had handed him, "Montague Capulet Floral Deliveries."


Mr. Balducci bid the courier deliverer enter.

The maitre d' bowed and left Mr. Vargas to his business.


Antonio Balducci looked at the long package that Mr. Vargas was carrying.


"That must be one awfully long bouquet of flowers," Mr. Balducci thought to himself.

Now who would be sending him flowers?


Diego Vargas opened the packaged box and pulled out a sub-machine gun.



"Happy Valentine's Day from the Colombian drug cartel," Diego Vargas smiled as he riddled the restaurant manager's body with bullets.


Diego Vargas put the machine gun back in the packaged box and left the establishment.


It was his final delivery for the day.

He had certainly made a killing- several in fact- by working today.

Valentine's Day.


Al Capone would have been so proud.



-A Short Story
 written by Christopher
 Saturday February 14th
 2015.


Sent from my iPhone

Haiku About 50 Shades of Grey

Haiku About Fifty Shades of Grey


Brian Williams says
"Don't use hair dye" but rinse shows
fifty shades of grey

Swimming Pool In The Rain: A Poem

Swimming Pool In The Rain:  A Poem


Rainy night
neon lights reflect in puddles on the street
Sound of footsteps striking pavement
and drops of water fly up as shoes hit concrete
The private eye dashed along the street
headed for a mansion on Sunset Boulevard
a body was found in a swimming pool
and he had been called by the victim's bartender to investigate
fearing the police might prove incompetent in investigating.
A body in a swimming pool at a Sunset Boulevard mansion-
might make for a nifty plot for a movie
the private eye thought as he lit a cigarette
Damn- he shouldn't try smoking in the pouring rain
both match and cigarette were extinguished by the downpour
Nothing like having a wet cigarette in your mouth-
he coughed to the nearby street lamps who didn't answer him.
He arrived at the mansion-
the press were there taking pictures of the body in the pool.
"Say cheese," one photog wag quipped as he snapped a picture.
"Albion, what are you doing here?" A police captain asked the private eye as he downed 10 different pills of heart medication in a large glass in the pouring rain.
"The victim's bartender Roncalli heard on the radio that the guy's body had been found in the pool," Albion answered, "and wanted to know how he died."
"Why?" The police captain then started taking 10 different medication pills for his  liver, "is he feeling guilty about not cutting him off? Figured that all those extra shots of bourbon was a case of drinking and swimming don't mix?"
"Depends," Albion answered, "did this guy usually swim fully dressed?"
"Well according to the staff," the police captain took another large glass of water handed to him by his sargeant so he could down 10 different medication pills for his kidneys, "he usually swam in the nude."
"I see," Private Eye Albion lit another cigarette that was likewise extinguished by the pouring rain.
"He was apparently shot in the back according to eyewitnesses," the police captain searched through his pockets for his multiple-layered bifocals, "and then fell into the pool after he was shot."
"That would explain the red colour in the pool," Albion looked down at the pool, "anyone see who fired the shot?".
"No," the police captain then took another large glass of water so he could down 10 different laxative pills for his bowels, "the shot was apparently fired from that open window there. No one saw who fired that shot."
"The mystery deepens," Albion looked towards the deep end of the pool.
"Mind if I use your bathroom?" The police captain asked the Estate's butler as he ran towards the house.
"Not at all, sir," the butler answered, "it's on the fourth floor of the mansion."
"Oh shit," said the police captain who proceeded to do just that.


"So, he usually swam in the nude, then?" Albion asked the French maid.

"Yes, Monsieur," the French maid smoothed her skirt and adjusted her black silk fishnet nylons, "he didn't usually wear his clothes."


"Or Madame's clothes either," the Mexican gardener added.

"What did you mean by that?" Albion asked.


It turned out to be an open and shut case, Albion thought as he put the violin back in the case when he had finished serenading the Estate staff with his interpretation of Franz Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 after solving the mystery.


Mr. Wayne it turned out was a cross-dresser and had borrowed Mrs. Wayne's favourite dress the night before without asking or even telling her.

When Mrs. Wayne found the French mustard and hot chocolate stains on her dress this morning, she had shot her husband in the back as he was walking pool side.


And so Albion walked back to his office in the pouring rain.
What an awful fate for a male cross-dresser, Albion thought, to be found floating face down in men's clothes in a swimming pool.
And the moral of the story was, Don't take your wife's clothes without asking.



-A private eye film noir poem
 written by Christopher
 Monday February 9th
 2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Haiku About Wuthering Heights

Haiku About Wuthering Heights


Tragic tale of woe
Heathcliff without his Cathy
led to loss of soul

Haiku About Vincent Van Gogh

Haiku About Vincent Van Gogh

Starry night Van Gogh
eyes of China blue with slice
of ear missing too

The Psychiatrist T-Rex: A Poem

The Psychiatrist T-Rex:  A Poem


In ages quite Cretaceous
when world was large and spacious
there roamed around the globe
with a cerebral front lobe
a T-Rex psychiatrist
with less problems than
a triceratops podiatrist
The psychiatrist T-Rex was called Oedipus
on whose rock for a couch lay Sisyphus
whose struggle was an uphill battle
that would not be ended by death's dark rattle
Of course Oedipus had many patients galore
whose sexual problems often came to the fore
"I'm a-Freud so," Oedipus would often say,
"your problem could be cured by one good lay."
But for camel humped dinosaur Deinocheirus
saurian babes would look at the hump and say, "Please spare us."
No humps for this humpster
and he wound up in the dumpster.
Another failed attempt to cure by Oedipus Rex
one would think of his psychiatry as a curse and a hex
because despite his beard and large specs
his patients' neuroses continued to vex.
Finally just in the nick of time
as Oedipus made lemon out of lime
a comet came hurtling from space and struck the earth
giving prehistoric psychiatry its death
but the world a chance for a second birth.


-A poem written by Christopher
 Wednesday February 4th
 2015.

Haiku About The Tortoise and The Hare In Aesop's Famous Fable

Haiku About The Tortoise and The Hare In Aesop's Famous Fable


The hare sleeps soundly
while tortoise trudges along
to win race in end

A Post-Mortem Poem On Super Bowl XLIX

A  Post-Mortem Poem On Super Bowl  XLIX


And it came to pass...
when it should have been run...
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Seattle- mighty Patriots have intercepted.



-A poem written by Christopher
 Monday February 2nd 2015
 with apologies to
 Ernest Lawrence Thayer
 author of Casey At The Bat.

Haiku About Groundhog Day The Bill Murray Film

Haiku About Groundhog Day The Bill Murray Film



Mister Bill Murray
Alarm clock rings- new day dawns
but same old same old