Renfield's Take On Liquid Water Being Found On Mars

Renfield's Take On Liquid Water Being Found On Mars


"Now that NASA has found signs of flowing water on Mars, their next most important step should be to find signs of flowing beer on Mars."


-Renfield R. Renfield

The Candle In The Glass: A Poem

The Candle In The Glass


The candle in the glass flickers
so pretty
so golden
as it floats upon the water
casting light that sparkles and spins
upon the glass
a sight of beauty
that makes one feel warm and welcome in the dark
the door opens
a cold wind blows in
and the light dances for its life
The door closes
and the light shines brightly once more
no longer having to deal with the icy cold fingers of death in that chilling wind
It sparkles in the glass
doing a dance of joy
Instead of a dance of struggle
for its very existence.
But people barge in through the door
opening wide the icy cold breath of the thing that seeks to extinguish the light
The light of the candle in the glass
And one of these times the cold wind of death will come bursting in
and snuff out the light of the candle in the glass
And that light will burn no more
Oh, the same candle may be lit again
but the light that burns
will not be the light that burnt before.


-A poem written by Christopher
 Friday September 25th
 2015.

Haiku About Gilderoy Lockhart

Haiku About Gilderoy Lockhart

Gilderoy Lockhart
all flash glitz and no substance
true celebrity

Haiku About Harry Potter

Haiku About Harry Potter


Scar on his forehead
Mark of Voldemort is also
Harry's destiny

Haiku About Oskar Schindler

Haiku About Oskar Schindler

In an evil world
a good man does what he can
all make it to list

Haiku About Dracula

Haiku About Dracula


Dracula was well
'till he had stakes at sunrise
gave him true heartburn

The Giant Rat of Sumatra

The Giant Rat of Sumatra


Back in late January and early February of 2010, I started writing a Sherlock Holmes novella called The Giant Rat of Sumatra.


I managed to write 13 chapters to it.


Then in mid-February of 2010, my dad started to come down with an illness that the doctors later diagnosed as cancer.

He died in June of 2010.


The next few years saw me dealing with legal battles over my father's Estate and dealing with incompetent lawyers and even more incompetent Estate executors.

So I never got around to finishing it- my novella.


A couple of days ago, I decided to go back and read those novella chapters I had written.


One thing that struck me as I went back to reading what I had written 5 years ago was the shear contempt with which I regarded lawyers- a contempt that struck me as being quite prophetic in lieu of what was to happen to me over the course of the next 4 years.


I had indeed quite an ensemble of memorable characters in those chapters- in addition to Conan Doyle's legendary detective figure of Sherlock Holmes, I had veterinarian Fred Clegg (modeled on my great-grandfather), Captain Heelander, Vittoria Donna Gina, Hemlock The Magician, Magus Steinenfrank and even Darwin the Sumatran orangutan and Krakatoa the Sumatran tiger.


Within the next few weeks, I'm going to see if I can't finally finish this novella.


In the meantime for readers here who never read my early chapters, here are the links to those chapters of my novella The Giant Rat of Sumatra- a story for which I think the world is now prepared:




Links Giant Rat of Sumatra

The Giant Rat of Sumatra Links


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/01/giant-rat-of-sumatra.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/01/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-ii.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/01/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-iii.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/01/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-iv.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/01/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-v.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/01/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-vi.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/02/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-vii.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/02/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-viii.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/02/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-viiia-ix.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/02/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-x.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/02/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-xi.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/02/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-xii.html


http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/02/giant-rat-of-sumatra-part-xiii.html




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Oracle Tang At The Burning Man

Oracle Tang At The Burning Man


At the Black Rock Desert in northern Nevada,
They celebrate art work that they call dada
And whilst there, they set the Wicker Man on fire,
he goes up in smoke like a burning tire
They call it an act of self-expression
Pyromaniac might be a psychiatrist's impression.



For one week on this dry lake bed
as the scent of pot goes to the head
it becomes Black Rock City
an apocalypse so pretty
Now this year, they've got a holographic orangutan
One who doesn't have to use Ultra-Ban
an image that looks part orangutan
and part vampire bat
when he flaps his orange furry wings, you'll fall to the mat.


His two eyes suddenly merge into one cyclops eye
Horus' capstone eye showing theorem of pi
The Image of the Beast is here at last.
Head down to Black Rock- it will be a blast!


-A poem written by Christopher
 Monday September 7th
 2015.

Qonzilqointec Reads Report On Kraken and Medusa

Qonzilqointec Reads Report On Kraken and Medusa


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec sat in her silk nightgown and read an email she had received from an MI-6 Agent whose code name was Diablos Nocturna.


She had never met Diablos Nocturna in person but the two had met on-line and had discovered they both had a mutual enemy.


They agreed to share information.


Diablos had sent her a copy of a report that he had received from an Israeli Mossad agent whose code name was The Controller of The Golem.

The report chronicled the movements of a Kraken sized octopus who was skateboarding across the state of Israel.


At his side as he skateboarded across Israel was a beautiful long haired redheaded woman who always wore the most elegant evening dresses and who had the ability to glide inches above the ground as she walked.


The Kraken and the redhead were first spotted at a global courier delivery service in downtown Tel Aviv where the woman arranged to have a dozen shopping bags couriered to her penthouse apartment in London.


They then went up to the Sea of Galilee at the woman's insistence so that she could walk on water up there.


"I'm giving these people something they haven't seen in 2000 years," she said to the Kraken as tourists hastily took pictures with their smart phones.


A divinity professor at Yale who thought all of Christ's miracles were strictly symbolic and that nobody could actually walk on water died of a heart attack when his daughter emailed him the picture.


He couldn't fathom the thought of having to revise all his theories and revise all those textbooks he had written.



They then went to Cana of Galilee where the Kraken, wanting to upstage the redhead's miracle of walking on water, tried to turn pitchers of water into lager beer at an American biker's outdoor motorcycle wedding.


When the attempted miracle failed abysmally, the Kraken found himself being pursued by a group of angry tattooed motorcycle gang members and their equally angry tattooed brides.


The redhead who called herself Medusa had wisely ascended into the sky and headed off to Jerusalem before the Kraken had even attempted his water into beer wedding miracle.


She had recently seen the Kraken attempt to pull a rabbit out of a silk hat at a Mafia wedding in Sicily and when he had pulled out the local Mafia don's mistress' personally monogrammed panties instead, that had not gone over so well.


The Kraken jumped on his skateboard and headed out of town just before sunset as the Hell's Angels followed on hot pursuit on their motorcycles.


"I don't recall this ever happening in Lady Gaga's music video about Judas," were the Kraken's last words as he skated past the sign that said You Are Now Leaving Cana of Galilee.



              .                .              .



The redheaded Medusa's descent on to the Temple Mount on August 27th 2015 (on the 40th Anniversary of Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie's death in Addis Ababa) frightened away both Orthodox Jewish wailer at the Western Wall and Muslim worshipper on the Temple Mount alike paving the way for the Kraken who called himself Napoleon VI to skateboard on to the Temple Mount on his skateboard bearing the image of former Rastafarian Bob Marley.


The report from the Controller of the Golem that Qonzilqointec was reading bore the notation that the Controller had been immediately summoned by the Office of the Prime Minister of Israel Benjamin Netanyahu to report immediately to a West Jerusalem police station to take a sobriety test.



-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Thursday August 27th
  2015.


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